wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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