Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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