I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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