Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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