I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
