I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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