i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
