Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
