I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
