i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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