but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
