So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
should my penis look like a turkey
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
