Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
