I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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