4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
