omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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