is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
