Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
