I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
