I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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