I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
