do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
