woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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