My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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