Got a toothbrush?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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