is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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