This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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