i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize