There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
