Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's just like the Real World with babies
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
