there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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