No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
