once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
