Quick, to the slutcave!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
