You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
