dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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