i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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