we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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