I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
