Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My dad is sitting where you rode me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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