wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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