So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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