why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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