fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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