I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The struggles of a small town man whore
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
