i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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