Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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