Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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