Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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