I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
