We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You are a genius and a whore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
